It's July

It's July. And Kyler comes home next month.

Excitement + Nervousness = Anxiety

I won't lie... Anxiety is really hitting me. And it's hitting me hard. 

I'm a crazy person. As months become weeks and weeks become days, I am becoming even crazier. I haven't been able to sleep very well, throw anxiety in there and some nights I'm not even going to bed till 4:00am. My head is just spinning at night! Sometimes I will just break out into tears for no reason. I told you I was crazy. I think the biggest thing for me right now is that I'm trying to get to grips with the fact that this huge part of my life is almost over. I have absolutely loved this adventure. Sometimes my head is just spinning with a million different scenarios.

What in the world am I going to wear?

What will he sound like?

Will he smell the same?

What if I see him and go into shock?

What if I sleep in that day and miss the whole thing?

What if I see him and melt into a puddle of tears and can't run to him and squeeze his guts out?

Is he taller?

Will he be awkward? (Most likely)

How awkward?

Will I be awkward?!?

What if I see him and pass out and hit my head and get a concussion?

What if I see him and can't control myself and ruin all our years of planning that special moment?

What if.. What if.

Pathetic right. There's a little insight in the mind of Hillary.

I promise I'm going to be okay. I think this is just a phase. I will let you know I will be an absolute train wreck the week before he comes home though. 

So don't mind me if I'm a little off this month. Seriously this is the happiest I have EVER been and what an exciting time it is right now! I mean... I basically made it right? :) this moment is bitter sweet- for both Elder Webb and I at this time. But I can promise you one thing... 

We are so ready for this next chapter in this great adventure. :)